The List

I have a list. You have created one too. Admit it. A list of what you want, need and desire in a future counterpart. My list is something I take seriously, too seriously some would say. I often go back to the list after a major shift in my life. Maybe someone passed on, I met someone who irritated the heck out of me or I just met real cool dude. Two pages long, I felt like it was the requirements for the prototype. Until one day, I had a deep discussion with my sister about marriage and my infamous list. We went back and forth about who we envisioned each other with. I proclaimed that I refuse to settle, and I want what I want! She quietly told me, ‘Who are you? How can you demand a perfect man and you aren’t even close to perfect!’

Close to perfect? I am not close to that! Over time I started looking at my list and started to see if I had any of those qualities. That list went from two pages to a half of a page really quick. How dare I demand something from a man that I do not possess? I thought about all those conversations with my girlfriends and male friends too. We always bring up people who we would remotely consider dating and all you here is….

‘He is too short’
‘She is too big for me’
‘He is ten years older that me, I am not pushing no one around’
‘He is broke’
‘He only has a BA’
‘She can’t even dress. where am I going with her’

I could go on and on. The point is, most of these people, who are so picky with there lists are alone. Including Me! I am throwing my list away and will stop judging and start loving. Even if I meet someone who is not everything I think they should be, I am going to give them a chance. I’d rather find a great man with potential, than a fine, wealthy man who might abuse me emotionally or physically. Tear down the walls, and look outside your usual space. Are you stuck on education, race, money, or status? Step outside your preconceived notions and start living AND loving!

The Queen

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Comments
7 Responses to “The List”
  1. megan says:

    Excellent post cuzzo. Continue to enlighten, uplift & motivate others thru your action, speech and expression. Keep em coming!!

  2. Eric the Under_Score says:

    Doooope! I just said the same thing as iWrite2Live to one of my friends. I have this list of preferences…spiritual characteristics, physical preferences, hobbies, talents, dreams, etc. But I really feel that when I meet thee Mrs. Borden, the things on my list that don’t match her will inevitably become irrelevant.

    And I can’t wait.

    Eazy

  3. Your Big Sister says:

    Very insightful.The earlier young woman begin the hard and worthwhile work of self examination, the clearer the important things become(personal and professional).That way when an incompatible opportunity presents itself (man or job) you don’t waste too much time on it.

  4. Spitfire says:

    Slow clap.

  5. iwrite2live says:

    You are amazing. I respect and admire your journey. This post was very inspiring.

    Its very hard to let go of our “standards” and just love. I believe that once we meet someone and God gives his stamp of approval – all those lists and psuedo-standards and whatnot will be history! He will be transformed into everything that we could ever imagine. I’ve heard so many happily married women say that. I’m just waiting for it to come true in my life!

    Love you girlie!

    ~iWrite

  6. Bryan Wood says:

    Ya ur right a lot of ppl don’t realize that most of the time they are being hypocrites by not giving some people a chance cause he/she doesn’t qualify there standards when they don’t either

  7. Ranacia says:

    So very true. I have 2 lists: the first is for the person I want to be and the goals I have for myself and the other is for the kind of man I would like for myself. After my last dealings with men, I’ve realized that I gotta fix me and get to where I want to be and become the person I need to be before adding in a man. Love is where it is and it will still be there when you are ready for it.

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